Dear Candace,

Letter to the 16 year old me

It gets easier, I promise! I know, I know, such a cliché thing to say. But it’s true.

Those girls that you want to be friends with, those boys who don’t notice you, that team you didn’t make, that argument you had with your mom over chores. I know it hurts and I know you think it’s the end of the world… it doesn’t matter now!

Being 16 sucks! It is hard and emotional and lonely and so many other things. But it gets better! Your life doesn’t end at 16.

You will go through some horrible things in your life, bullying, sexual assault, divorce, domestic violence, car accidents, death of family members, etc… But you will also go through some amazing and wonderful things, like, being a mom to 3 of the most wonderful children, being a wife to a man that would move mountains for you, having a blessed and fulfilling life!

You now have a 16 year old son. Look at the things you are going through… how would you help your own son navigate these challenges? If he were at a party, would you tell him not to take that drink? If he were in that class, would you tell him to study harder and make sure he did that paper? What about when someone is making fun of him? Would you tell him to just hold it in & silently struggle or would you tell him it’s ok to tell an adult, even if it is one of the popular kids? What would your advice to him be? He will see you go through some of the most difficult times of your life, but he will learn to deal with ‘life struggles’ by watching you.

You have 2 daughters now, they are beautiful and precious little girls! And they are going to experience some of the same taunting and peer pressure that you are dealing with. What would you tell them? Would you say that ‘You are beautiful, no matter what anyone else says!’? Would you tell them that it’s ok to be an independent female and focus on yourself? Your oldest daughter will go through some unimaginable hell, but it will be your job to guide her through it. Even though you will feel like there is no positive end in sight, trust me, she has your strength and will come out on top! Your youngest will be a bright light in your life! She gets her independence from you and she inherits her stubbornness from you (sometimes not always a positive, lol)!

Trust me, you will have an amazing life! And all of those things that you have to endure will only make you stronger!


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