There is such pressure that moms should always ‘have it together’! I have always struggled with putting on a facade that everything is perfect. Through certain things I have experienced, I realized recently that it is ok to not be perfect. I don’t have it together. It is hard to admit this, but I think about other moms that may be feeling the same way that I am and I don’t want them thinking they are alone. Because I hate feeling like I’m alone. We live in a society where moms are expected to always be happy, to always have well behaved kids, to have a perfectly clean house! Why do we place theses expectations on each other? Why do we place them on ourselves?
I have learned a lot in my (*gulp*) 16 years of being a mom. There is a stigma in the air about admitting that you don’t always have it together as a mother. I myself have silently judged other moms for having a bad day. But let’s reflect for a moment, how would I feel if I could hear those same judgements about me when I’m having a bad mom moment or day? I would feel horrible!
Having a bad day doesn’t make you a bad mom… It makes you human! Humans make mistakes!
I always told myself I would never yell at my kids, I wouldn’t say bad words, I would always have a perfectly clean house, my kids would always be well mannered and be civil members of society. Well, as it turns out… I yell, I say bad words, my house isn’t spotless 24/7 and my kids can be terrors sometimes. But does that make me a bad mom? Absolutely NOT!
There are days when being a mom is just HARD! The kids are fighting, the husband is upset because the kids aren’t listening, the house is a disaster, the laundry is piled high, and you just want to lock yourself in your room and eat all the junk food you have carefully hidden from said kids. Guess what?!? It is totally OK to do this! Take a time out! It is OK to tell the kids that you need to take a time out, they need to know that it is healthy to remove yourself from a situation when you overwhelmed. As moms, I know that we feel we will be judged for admitting we need to take a ‘time out’ but we need to support each other.
Trust me I wish that I was like the Brady Bunch mom… But let’s face it… I’m more like Roseanne Connor! I am never going to be Carol Brady… And that is OK! I am learning (it’s only taken me 16 years!) that it is ok to not have it all together! When I first became a mom, I had no idea what I was doing… and now, I still have no idea what I am doing. But what I do know is, good moms have bad days!
At the end of the day, as long as my kids know that I love them, I am a good mom!